On being flexible, or, Introducing Disney Princess Watch
Q: What do you get when you schedule a dinner party during TV Turnoff Week?
A: Two sick girls staying home for the day.
Parenting teaches you nothing if not flexibility. The dinner party will be canceled, we’ll see how the day goes with no TV (usually a treat when someone is sick), and the morning will not be spent writing a planned post.
Instead, I’d like to quickly introduce a new Corporate Babysitter feature: Disney Princess Watch.
The number of licensed character products coming out of Disney is fantastically ridiculous and someday, EVERYTHING YOU BUY WILL HAVE A DISNEY CHARACTER ON IT. Until then, Corporate Babysitter will keep you current with the newest, the most unusual, and the most inexplicable products featuring Disney Princesses and other Disney characters.
Today, the first Disney-branded refrigerated dairy beverage: Disney Little Einsteins Milk.
But as we know, Disney would NEVER imply that their refrigerated dairy beverage would help make your children smarter than, say, anyone else’s refrigerated dairy beverage. That is NOT what they are trying to imply with “Little Einsteins.” No. Of course not. They wouldn’t do that.
From the press release:
“Teaming with Disney provides the opportunity to create healthy products that kids will identify with, while enabling parents to provide a highly nutritional and great-tasting beverage that their children will want to drink,” said Sam Stremick, Director of Sales and Marketing for Stremicks Heritage Foods. “The new Little Einsteins milk line provides parents with an easy option for incorporating nutrients like calcium and DHA into their children’s diets to ensure optimal growth and development.”
Have you ever read such complete bull****? Really? You, Disney and Stremicks, are helping parents by slapping a Disney logo on a carton of milk?
What Mr. Stremick means is that since Disney has mastered the art of a) fooling parents with claims the Einstein products will make smarter babies and b) enticing children to nag for anything Disney, parents will feel okay about giving in to a wailing child in the grocery store screaming “I want Disney milk!”
Disney and Mr. Stremick, guess what? You’re not helping parents.
Read more on the CCFC Summit in my guest post at So Sioux Me.
April 21st, 2008 at 9:56 am
Disney milk? Wow! They are real worker bees over at Disney aren’t they? Good luck with your sick child + no TV day. I applaud your flexibility!
April 22nd, 2008 at 12:55 pm
[…] • • Products for stupid parents who want smart kids. • • • MNspeakless in Minnesota. • • • Speaking of which, whatever happened to […]
April 25th, 2008 at 9:52 am
Speaking of Disney. I just had this frustrated conversation in the store yesterday over whether we’d buy the propel water flavoring with High School Musical pictures or the one without.
This is the same thing without the picture Ainsley.
No it’s not.
Yes, lets read the ingredients. Dextromorphoblah blah. Dextromorphoblah blah.
Let’s look at the prices - $1.00 vs. $1.50 for the picture. We don’t EAT the picture or drink the picture! Is it worth the 50 cents?
But, I still want the High School Musical one.
NO!
Thanks Disney. Not only have you taken over the toy store, but also the grocery store.