My daughter has a passion for fashion.

You may recall that my bespeckled seven-year-old once told me that she would have a Bratz-themed party when I died.

She’s always been a bit more, well, girly than my older daughter. She wants to paint her fingernails. She wants to wear makeup. She wants her clothes to be “cute.”

I thought that a few more years with me as her mother would knock some sense into her. But recently I’ve realized that I’ve got a real problem on my hands.

First, she announced that she wanted to be a fashion designer when she grew up. And she began designing. Matching girl and pet outfits. And accessories.

A darling outfit! With lips everywhere! Titled — in case you can’t read it – “Boy Attraction Fashion!”

Blink. Blink. 

Look what the universe did to you, a friend of mine commented.

She’s always drawn strict distinctions between what boys are like and what girls are like. Recently she told me that she isn’t “100 percent girl” because she likes to be active.

Instead of exploding, I calmly asked her to clarify. We ended up having a long discussion about gender traits. To illustrate, I drew a line along a sheet of paper with “boy” on one end and “girl” on the other. Then I gave her some words and asked her to write them in the appropriate spot on the spectrum.

In the center — halfway between boy and girl, she placed smart, responsible, and funny.

Phew.

By boy she wrote fast, strong and active.

And by girl she wrote fashion and beauty. Beauty, she said, meant that you are beautiful.

Then she mentioned that there was one other characteristic you had if you were “100 percent” girl:

One-hundred percent girls are mean.

She has also told me, while looking in the mirror, that she thinks she is fat.

WHOSE DAUGHTER IS THIS?

Pretty strong evidence, I’d say, for a wider cultural influence than what is provided in the home. She very rarely sees commercial television. We don’t have cable. There are no women’s magazines — and affiliated ads — in our house.

Some of these tendencies are, of course, hard wired. It’s part of who she is. And these certainly aren’t the only thoughts that define her. But how, in this day and age, can she really believe these things?

And how can I help her see that these media-driven female stereotypes are, well, bullshit?

Before it’s too late?

This entry was posted on Sunday, May 31, 2009 at 11:45 pm and is filed under Child Sexualization, Television. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.